The reason why, is that regardless of whatever you do, have or be, it will involve some human interaction directly or indirectly.

We live on a planet with over 7 billion people, it pretty much goes without saying that relationships of all kinds are vitally important to your health and well-being.

Your impact and the amount of lives you can positively influence is limitless, especially nowadays with social media.

When I speak of “relationships” I am describing your social interactions with your family, your friends, your neighborhood where you reside, your community, your city or town, your state and ultimately the planet that we live on.

Each of us has our own preferences and ways of doing things, as well as our unique way of interacting with those around us.

All human interactions are either opportunities to grow and learn and/or to teach and share.

Relationships 101: The 3 Ways We Interact

The way in which we communicate with one another determines to a large degree in how well we relate to those around us. As I mentioned before, every human interaction is an opportunity to learn (growing) or teach (sharing).

The fact that we live in an information age may help to explain why the majority of people favor taking on the role of the “teacher” rather than the “student”. In order to be heard we must first listen.

Words provide a frame of reference, and when we embrace this concept we can begin to make huge strides in the way that we communicate and relate to one another.

For example, a phrase such as, “Can you hear what I’m saying?” can provide insight into the very person that is saying this. A person saying this might have a strong disposition toward auditory words and phrases.

If upon hearing a phrase such as, “It’s clearly obvious can’t you see it?” that such a phrase might show a strong disposition toward visual words and phrases.

Moreover, a phrase such as, “Can you do this?” might indicate a strong disposition toward kinesthetic words and phrases.

Recapping what we just went over, there are essentially 3 primary dispositions:

1) Visual thoughts – sight, mental imagery, spatial awareness
2) Auditory (or linguistic) thoughts – sound, speech, dialog, white noise
3) Kinesthetic (or proprioceptive) sense – somatic feelings in the body, temperature, pressure, and also emotion.

This can be extremely helpful as you “relate” to other people. Knowing their preferences/dispositions, as well your own, can create great rapport and build strong and lasting relationships.

We tend to like those that are similar to us , and that share similar interests or ideas.

 What Drives Us

I first learned about the Six Human Needs in 1996. I was listening to Personal Power II by Tony Robbins, and he had a section entitled the 6 Human Needs.

Tony, states that there are just six human needs that each person on the planet has in common, but that vary in importance and priority.

The six human needs are:

1) Certainty: The need to feel secure, comfortable.
2) Variety: The need for change, break the monotony of the daily routine, to mix it up every now & then.
3) Significance/Unique: The need to be special, different, your own person.
4) Love/Connection: The need to be connected to another(s) or a group.
5) Growth: The need to learn and grow.
6) Contribution: The need to give back and contribute beyond yourself.

The first four needs are there to serve your personality and the last two are there to help you spiritually.

The test is to find out of the first four which two are most important to you?

1) Certainty: The need to feel secure, comfortable.
2) Variety: The need for change, break the monotony of the daily routine, to mix it up every now & then.
3) Significance/Unique: The need to be special, different, your own person.
4) Love/Connection: The need to be connected to another(s) or a group.

For me Love/Connection and Certainty are important.

This of course can change with time.

The trick is then to learn what drives those around you. And if you are in an intimate relationship it can be interesting to find out what your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or significant other most values and then compare the two.Also take a look at what you do to fulfill your needs and try to learn what others around do to fulfill theirs.
Knowing this can be super-important toward creating wonder-FULL and enriching relationships.

Intimate Relationships: The Five Love Languages

Probably one of the best books on intimate relationships is by Gary Chapman, called the The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

There is a phrase Chapman uses that is by and far the best to describe when one or another is not feeling quite on par in the relationship. He calls it, the love tank, and says that when one or both are not feeling the love they so desire, their “love tank” is empty.

The five ways to express and experience love that Chapman calls “love languages”:

1) Receiving gifts (Visual)
2) Quality time (Kinesthetic, Visual, Auditory)
3) Words of affirmation (Auditory)
4) Acts of service (Kinesthetic)
5) Physical touch (Kinesthetic)

Each of us speak our own “love language” and it is all too common to find a couple where one speaks one “love language” and the other an entirely different “love language”.

An easy to find out what fills your partner’s love tank is to ask this simple question, “Could you remember a time when you most felt loved by me?” then ask “What about that made you feel most loved?”

Then just be quiet and listen. What your partner reveals to you will tell you everything about how you can fill their love tank.

And remember just because you like a certain way of being, doing or having doesn’t mean that your partner is the same. We each speak different love languages, and sometimes you may find that one or both are bilingual.

In conclusion, relationships are the best self-help program out there. No amount of reading or studying can prepare you for the real deal.

Without both personal and professional relationships the world would be down right boring. Its people that make life fun. And its our interactions that can make all the difference. Every interaction is either an opportunity to learn/grow or to teach/share.