Quite literally if you do not have problems in your life, then you are either dead or catatonic.

I remember hearing a quote from Eric “ET” Thomas, it went something like this, “Problems are a part of life, you are either in a storm, you are coming out of a storm, or you are going to a storm.”

So if we all face problems, then how are we to overcome them?

What are the tools necessary to get through the proverbial “storms” of our lives?

I am not sure I have the “answer” but I may have something that can help. For the past month I have had a renewed interest in Tony Robbins.

It might help to give you some context. In 1996, I took an audio course by Tony Robbins, entitled, Personal Power II. It was very instrumental in shaping the direction and course of my life now.

Living in San Diego during the 1990s and 2000s I was privileged to be in one of the capitals of self-help. With some of the top self-help authors living in and around San Diego, like: Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Lousie Hay, Ken Blanchard, Brian Tracey, Denis Waitley, John C. Maxwell, the late Debbie Ford, and many more, the list goes on and on.

Growing up in an area such as that, it only made sense to have a small interest in self-help.

Fast forward to the present.

For some reason or another I had a desire to spark up my interest in Tony Robbins and I have been listening to his audio tapes.

In one of the audios, Tony teaches the 6 questions to solving any problem. Here are the questions and I will follow-up later with some context:

1. What can I learn from this?
2. What’s great about this problem?
3. What is not perfect yet?
4. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
5. What am I willing not to do to make it the way I want it?
6. How can I enjoy the process?

Tony recommends that the questions must be asked in a great state or at the very least in a positive state. You are to come up with different answers and write them down. Writing the answers down is critical because it gets out on to paper what is oftentimes not seen.

Why This Matters?

Last Sunday, my wife and I went to the hospital to visit the godfather of my son.  He has been in the hospital for the last 2 weeks in critical condition.

Early this year he was diagnosed with brain cancer that eventually spread throughout his entire body.

He is now living on an oxygen tank to sustain him as his lungs have collapsed and no longer function.

It was a trying time to say the least.

Here is a man that is still a youngster at only 65 years of age who has been extremely active his entire life working in construction. He is a father and grandfather. He has 3 grown sons. A wife of 50 years.

Now this vibrant and active person is confined to a hospital bed where his wife and nurses have to serve all of his basic needs like going to the bathroom and eating.

This Sunday, he was visited by all of his family, from his 3 sons, to his cousins, nieces/nephews, etc.  Not knowing whether he was going live or die we all paid our respects.

The hospital that he was admitted to was a hospital where patients go when the doctors have given up all hope and have no way to help the patients. In other words, it is a hospital for the incurable.

(Photo: Hospital Provincial, Toledo, Spain)

Walking the halls of this hospital and passing room after room, I saw patients in comas, others attached to life preserving machines, other curled up in a fetal position almost waiting to die.

It was a very sad and dark place to be.

Remember the teachings of Tony I began to put into practice what I had been studying for the past 30 days.

I can honestly tell you that I did it more subconsciously than consciously, but looking back on it, I can definitely attribute last Sunday to going through these 6 questions.

Question 1. What can I learn from this?

This question, directs your mind to look for the lessons to be learned.  And lessons learned typically mean progress and forward movement. Immediately I learned the value and beauty of life. Upon seeing the godfather of my son, lying there going in and out of consciousness, I thought, “Life is too be lived.” And it was then that I decided to do all with my life that I can. I learned also, just how great of a man the godfather of my son is. Every person that came to visit him, only had the most upbeat positive praise for this man. And I learned that when I go, when take my last breath I want to live a life that is extra-ordinary and honorable.

2. What’s great about this problem?

This is a brilliant question because it forces you to look for things that are great in an otherwise pessimistic or negative situation. It can help you to change your outlook. This sort of ties into the first question, but I realized that I am not dead yet. And that I have tons of life still left in me. And that I am going to live it. Hell or high-water I am going to do, be and have all that I possibly can. Also I saw a beauty in my wife that I had never seen before. She was so attentive to the needs of everyone. She was in such high spirit, she was like an angel, a light in a place of darkness. It was truly great to see. Later I shared with her just how proud I was of her for keeping up the spirits of everyone and staying positive. Truly great.

3. What is not perfect yet?

This question is, as Tony states,a presupposition that is basically presupposing that things will be perfect in the future. I used this question to focus on what can be improved upon. I thought about the future and the importance of health. I thought about how I can improve upon my own health and the health of our family. In addition, I thought about my relationship with my wife and all the silly and unimportant argument we had and how life is just way to short. I thought about how I want to improve our intimate relationship. I have a renewed interest in making the ideal relationship with my wife and improving our health as a family.

4. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?

This question will help you to uncover the steps or things that you can do in this very moment to change your life for the better and make it the way you want. I decided that I was committed to loving my wife and to focus only on the good. I was willing to stay positive and optimistic and most of all be grateful.

Great extra video (Time: 14:49 Minutes)

5. What am I willing not to do to make it the way I want it?

This question is a great question to look at those things that you might do that are not in your best interest. We all have bad habits and this question sort of brings them to light. I was no longer willing to complain about my wife, my son or my circumstances. I was no longer willing to look at the negative in life. I was no longer willing to let me lower my own high standards for living.

6. How can I enjoy the process?

This question will show you how to move forward and have fun doing so. For me, I was willing to be more lighthearted and just relax and enjoy the ride called life. I can enjoy the process by spending time in nature, time with family, being grateful.

These six questions are short but sweet. When you apply these six questions to any problem in your life you may just find that new shifts in your way of thinking and being open up. You may notice an entirely new point of view that you did not have before.

I know that I did. From applying these six questions, I have a renewed interest in my family and being a better man.

Here is a great Infographic:

For more information on solving problems, here is a great video/audio (23:09 Minute):

Kenneth Behring went from Depression poverty in rural Wisconsin to the Forbes 400 list of richest Americans. The classic rags to riches story. But what was most fascinating and awe-inspiring was the story of the four stages of life the Mr. Behring experienced. He owned mansions, hundreds of classic cars, a jet plane and his own football team. But something was missing, in what he later describes the four stages of life:

  1. More.
  2. Better.
  3. Different.
  4. Purpose.

What I have come to realize is that these four stages also apply to just about every area of a person’s life, including Calisthenics. I have seen an eerie evolution in the development of those in the health and fitness community move through these very simple but profound stages.

Stage 1: More

In the first stage of his life, Mr. Behring states, “The first stage of my life, I just wanted to get more, I didn’t have a car, I wanted a car, I didn’t have a house, I wanted a house, I didn’t have clothes, I got good clothes.”

In your training, when you first begin, you want to learn more and more. You become like a sponge soaking up any and all bits of video and information you can get your hands on. You train, all the time. You practice more and more. You become saturated with all the online content you can find.

One can become almost obsessed with learning and training more, and that is a completely normal reaction to any new undertaking that is fueled by passion and enthusiasm. You want to learn more exercises, more moves. Its only nature to want to do more reps, more sets, more moves, more more more.

Stage 2: Better

The second stage of life, “Then when I had all the things I wanted, I wanted better. I wanted a bigger car, a better house, a mansion, a Rolls Royce. Then I got all that. I had all the toys.”

In this stage, it seems, you become focused with only being the best. Doing the best pull ups, push ups, training at the very best level you can. You train to have the absolutely perfect form. To look and be the best version of you that you can possibly be. And there is nothing wrong with that also. It is part of your evolution. You are focused on better. Better tricks, better moves, better form. You want to be the best that you can be.

Stage 3: Different

The third stage, as Canfield tells the story of Mr. Behring, “Then my life turned into different. And that’s when I bought the Seattle Seahawks, because no one owned a football team. No one owned a basketball team. No one owned a baseball team. I figured I would own that. Then I still wasn’t happy.”

In this stage, we want to be different. Try different moves and exercises. To be able to unique and different things with regards to our training. To be able to be different in that we can do. To out do the others. To win awards or accolades. To be unique and different in our approach to training. To be different and unique. This too is completely normal, and in fact is what Tony Robbins, calls one of our six human needs, to be unique and important.

In the exercise community, I see a lot of guys and gals aspiring to win awards, to be the world record holders of this or that, to be unique and different. Of course, this too, is quite normal, in our process of evolving on our journey of life.

Stage 4: Purpose

The fourth stage, “Then one day, someone called me and asked if I would go to Africa with him and literally help pass out wheelchairs. And I decided to do that. I was in Africa, and I put this boy in a wheelchair, and he wouldn’t let go of me. He looked up into my eyes, and I looked into his eyes and smiled with tears streaming down his face. and for the first time in my life I felt joy. Really honest to god joy.
And I decided I was going to bring wheelchairs to people who were crippled. A lot of people in third world countries get thrown away and abandoned.”

He went on to say that, “I was in Mexico and there was a boy that was blind,  and all he was able to do was to sit in the sun. He was too heavy for his dad to carry out and a wheelchair would solve that. I brought him the wheel chair. And he wouldn’t let go of my hands. He kept holding my hands. and then finally he looked up at my face, and I looked into his eyes, and I realized he couldn’t see me.”

And I said, “Too bad you can’t see me, because you would see the love in my eyes”

The child then said, “Don’t worry I will see you when we are both in heaven.”

Ken Behirng, ended his speech, and he said, “Look don’t wait like I did, I was 65 years old until I discovered my true purpose, I spent 45 years chasing toys when I could have been chasing joy.”

This fourth stage is so important. With all the training you are doing, there has got to be a point when you begin to give back. To show others the new found skills and knowledge that you have acquired through your hours of training and practice.

You can’t let your training just be about you. It has to stand for something greater than just you.

In the end, I believe there will be only two questions that we will ask ourselves at the end of our lives:

1) Did you give it your all, did you live to your true potential, compared to you and no one else. Compared to the very best that you had did you give it your all in everything that you attempted?

2) How much did you give of yourself? Not how much did you acquire, but how much did you contribute and offer to those around you?

I realize finding your purpose, can appear to be a daunting task, but in reality it is not. You are already doing it, you probably just don’t know it. Your purpose is whatever you love to do, that you would do if money, fame, recognition, or time were not issues.

Your purpose is or are those things that light your fire.

For those reading this blog, I would imagine that training and exercise are one of those things that you love to do. So stick with it. And help others to share in the joy that you have.

Here is the original audio recording that I heard some 10 years ago that transformed how I looked at life (Time: 2:50 Minutes):

The reason why, is that regardless of whatever you do, have or be, it will involve some human interaction directly or indirectly.

We live on a planet with over 7 billion people, it pretty much goes without saying that relationships of all kinds are vitally important to your health and well-being.

Your impact and the amount of lives you can positively influence is limitless, especially nowadays with social media.

When I speak of “relationships” I am describing your social interactions with your family, your friends, your neighborhood where you reside, your community, your city or town, your state and ultimately the planet that we live on.

Each of us has our own preferences and ways of doing things, as well as our unique way of interacting with those around us.

All human interactions are either opportunities to grow and learn and/or to teach and share.

Relationships 101: The 3 Ways We Interact

The way in which we communicate with one another determines to a large degree in how well we relate to those around us. As I mentioned before, every human interaction is an opportunity to learn (growing) or teach (sharing).

The fact that we live in an information age may help to explain why the majority of people favor taking on the role of the “teacher” rather than the “student”. In order to be heard we must first listen.

Words provide a frame of reference, and when we embrace this concept we can begin to make huge strides in the way that we communicate and relate to one another.

For example, a phrase such as, “Can you hear what I’m saying?” can provide insight into the very person that is saying this. A person saying this might have a strong disposition toward auditory words and phrases.

If upon hearing a phrase such as, “It’s clearly obvious can’t you see it?” that such a phrase might show a strong disposition toward visual words and phrases.

Moreover, a phrase such as, “Can you do this?” might indicate a strong disposition toward kinesthetic words and phrases.

Recapping what we just went over, there are essentially 3 primary dispositions:

1) Visual thoughts – sight, mental imagery, spatial awareness
2) Auditory (or linguistic) thoughts – sound, speech, dialog, white noise
3) Kinesthetic (or proprioceptive) sense – somatic feelings in the body, temperature, pressure, and also emotion.

This can be extremely helpful as you “relate” to other people. Knowing their preferences/dispositions, as well your own, can create great rapport and build strong and lasting relationships.

We tend to like those that are similar to us , and that share similar interests or ideas.

 What Drives Us

I first learned about the Six Human Needs in 1996. I was listening to Personal Power II by Tony Robbins, and he had a section entitled the 6 Human Needs.

Tony, states that there are just six human needs that each person on the planet has in common, but that vary in importance and priority.

The six human needs are:

1) Certainty: The need to feel secure, comfortable.
2) Variety: The need for change, break the monotony of the daily routine, to mix it up every now & then.
3) Significance/Unique: The need to be special, different, your own person.
4) Love/Connection: The need to be connected to another(s) or a group.
5) Growth: The need to learn and grow.
6) Contribution: The need to give back and contribute beyond yourself.

The first four needs are there to serve your personality and the last two are there to help you spiritually.

The test is to find out of the first four which two are most important to you?

1) Certainty: The need to feel secure, comfortable.
2) Variety: The need for change, break the monotony of the daily routine, to mix it up every now & then.
3) Significance/Unique: The need to be special, different, your own person.
4) Love/Connection: The need to be connected to another(s) or a group.

For me Love/Connection and Certainty are important.

This of course can change with time.

The trick is then to learn what drives those around you. And if you are in an intimate relationship it can be interesting to find out what your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or significant other most values and then compare the two.Also take a look at what you do to fulfill your needs and try to learn what others around do to fulfill theirs.
Knowing this can be super-important toward creating wonder-FULL and enriching relationships.

Intimate Relationships: The Five Love Languages

Probably one of the best books on intimate relationships is by Gary Chapman, called the The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

There is a phrase Chapman uses that is by and far the best to describe when one or another is not feeling quite on par in the relationship. He calls it, the love tank, and says that when one or both are not feeling the love they so desire, their “love tank” is empty.

The five ways to express and experience love that Chapman calls “love languages”:

1) Receiving gifts (Visual)
2) Quality time (Kinesthetic, Visual, Auditory)
3) Words of affirmation (Auditory)
4) Acts of service (Kinesthetic)
5) Physical touch (Kinesthetic)

Each of us speak our own “love language” and it is all too common to find a couple where one speaks one “love language” and the other an entirely different “love language”.

An easy to find out what fills your partner’s love tank is to ask this simple question, “Could you remember a time when you most felt loved by me?” then ask “What about that made you feel most loved?”

Then just be quiet and listen. What your partner reveals to you will tell you everything about how you can fill their love tank.

And remember just because you like a certain way of being, doing or having doesn’t mean that your partner is the same. We each speak different love languages, and sometimes you may find that one or both are bilingual.

In conclusion, relationships are the best self-help program out there. No amount of reading or studying can prepare you for the real deal.

Without both personal and professional relationships the world would be down right boring. Its people that make life fun. And its our interactions that can make all the difference. Every interaction is either an opportunity to learn/grow or to teach/share.

Like all 10 year old boys, he loves video games but hates school, or more so, doing his homework and studying for exams.

He would rather go to the dentist and have his teeth cleaned than have to do his homework.

For him, the mere word, “study” brings up all sorts of bad and negative images. It’s as though studying is his version of a four letter bad word.

I thought, I would explore this further to examine just how he came to link that up in his head.

I remember, an old cassette audio track of Tony Robbins, entitled, Power Talk.

In the audio, Tony explains a consultation he did with a young boy who was labeled learning disabled.

The young boy, met Tony for a  one to one session, and brought with him his school record, which was, to say the least, rather large.

Tony, briefly looked over the school record, while glancing back at the young boy.

What he noticed, was that as soon as Tony examined the school record, the boy’s composure and attitude quickly changed from pleasant and alive to one of being depressed and hunched over.

Tony took the record, tore it up, and said, “This is horse wash!”

The boy was quite startled by this.

And Tony, continued to say, ” I know you are much smarter than what this school record says, I even bet there are some things that you are pretty good at, right?”

The boy, leaned in, and said, “Well, yeah, I like surfing.”

Tony then asked, “Tell me about surfing and what would you do if you created a surfing school?”

The boy immediately changed his entire demeanor and began to get really excited about the idea of a surfing school.

What Tony had done was pure genius.

He had connected a word that the boy liked, surfing, with the word school, one that was not so high on his lists of favorites.

Now every time the boy talked about school he got really excited.

The end result, this boy’s “learning disabilities,” quickly vanished and the boy began to get high marks at school.

Regressing back to the original story about my son.

Having remembered this story, and knowing that my son’s all time favorite thing in the world to do is to play video games, and that the absolute worst thing in the world for him to do is to study, I proceeded along the same lines as Tony.

I asked my son about video games and how did he learn to get so good?

He told me all the moves and maneuvers he had to learn.

I then asked him, how did you study all those moves?

He told me that he watched others that were better than him and practiced.

I asked, “So you studied all of those players that were better than you, and you learned how to be the best?”

He said ,”Yeah, of course.”

I asked, “And what would you think if you had a video game school, where each class was a different video game and you were the professor, what would you have to do?”

He got all excited, and proceeded to shared all of his ideas.

I then, asked, “So you studied and learned to become great? Isn’t that what you sort of do in school now?”

His eyes had a confused look, which is a great thing, it means, that he has a new perspective, the tiny little circuits in his brain, were now firing and re-wiring differently, sort of like the proverbial light bulb over the head, kind of moment.

And then he told me, “Oh I see, studying is a good thing? Right?”

I said, “Yes studying and learning are both good things?”

In conclusion, the way to mastery can be found in this short story that I have shared with you.

Lessons to Mastery:

1) Find something that you are passionate about. i.e. Surfing, Video Games, etc.

2) Find those that are better than you.

3) Imitate, study, and learn & practice how those that are better than you, do what they do. For example: physiology, mental syntax, beliefs.

4) Keep practicing and learning, until you get to where you want to be, and then after that, keep practicing and learning even more. The life of mastery is not a destination, it is found in the journey.

Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
Albert Einstein

The key is to decide.

Probably the best piece of advice came from author and speaker, Tony Robbins. Tony was talking about the power of decision making and he summed it up into four pretty simple steps.

1) You MUST first, clearly decide what it is that you’re absolutely committed to achieving.

2) You’re MUST BE willing to take massive action.

3) You notice what’s working and what’s not.

4) You continue to change your approach until you achieve your goal.

Step 1: Decide

Everything first starts with a decision, It seems so trite but yet it is so true. The decision to get in the best shape of your life is a decision and the decision to  just sit on the couch or at your desk and put off working out is also a decision.

Deciding is not wishful thinking. It has to be a MUST. If it is not a MUST than it is just a should and you when was the last time you were motivated to do anything that was driven by a should?

First decide what are your fitness goals? Other decisions may include how much time per day can you really truly devote uninterrupted free of distractions to your health? You MUST decide on your fitness and health goals and the frequency that you can commit to.

We are talking about your health. It is the single most important thing you have on the planet. What are you willing to do to being in the best shape of your life?

You must also be somewhat realistic. If you have not worked out in quite some time than give yourself a realistic time frame and expectations but set the bar high. The higher you set the bar the more you have to fuel the fire of motivation. Also note health is not a destination it is a journey. It takes commitment, consistency, persistence and determination. I would be lying to you if I said it was easy peasy. But it first begins with a decision.

Step 2: Act

The next step is to take massive amounts of action. Almost to the point of being ridiculous. We are talking about your health. So it deserves some proper attention and taking massive action is perfect.

What is meant by massive action is if you want to workout do one thing now that would point you in the direction that you wish to be. For example,  you came to this website, which was action in and of itself, now based on your fitness goals go Exercise Prescription and begin creating your own workout routine.

If you having difficulties coming up with ideas here are some great links and videos that you can incorporate into your workout routine:

WORKOUT GENERATOR
Workout Generator is a FREE online app that you just enter your information and it pops out a prefab workout routine based on your answers. http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_plan_generator.asp

WORKOUT LABS
Workout Labs has some FREE printable illustrated workout routines. Granted not all are FREE. Last time I checked there were 22 routines and 11 were FREE. Just hover your mouse over to see which ones are FREE and which are not. They also have a fancy dandy FREE custom workout plan app, where you can create your own workout plan. It’s pretty slick
http://workoutlabs.com/workout-plans/ (Prefab Workout Plans)
http://workoutlabs.com/custom-workout-builder/ (Create Your Own/ DIY)

CALISTHENICS WORKOUT
Fortis has a slew of calisthenic workout routines minus photos, so unless you are familiar with the terminology you might get lost. But they have some solid routines. http://fortismag.com/calisthenics.html

5 Exercises included in Calisthenics Workouts (Video below)

5 of each Calisthenics exercise will build your basic strength, once you can perform 5 sets of 5 reps in each exercise, you’re ready for the intermediate 5×5 Challenge and the advanced Challenge too. So what are these simple workouts which will kick-start your calisthenic strength?

• 5 Australian Pull-ups
• 5 Lying Knee Tucks
• 5 Split Squats (Right Leg)
• 5 Split Squats (Left Leg)
• 5 Push ups

Level: Beginner (Time: 1:29 min)

EXAMPLE WORKOUT ROUTINE (Video below)

Train at level where you can manage as many reps with good technique and form.

Set rest (Rest between exercises)

Start simple.

Do alternatives/adjust for elevation/angle if needed

• Inverted Rows: 15-20 reps/3-5 sets
• Standard Push Ups: 15-20 reps/2-3 sets
• Squats: 15-20 reps/2-3 sets
• Lunges: 10 reps EACH leg/ 2-3 sets
• Calf Raises: 15-20 reps or one leg 10 reps/2-3 sets
• Pike Push Ups: 10-20 reps/2-3 sets
• High Rows: 10-15 reps/2-3 sets
• Knee Raises and/or Crunches: 10-15 reps/2-3 sets
• Plank: One/A couple of sets holding as long as possible

Level: Beginner to Advanced (Time: 6:13 min)

Step 3: Notice What’s Working
This one is pretty easy. If you are getting results and gains than you will see the fruits of your labor. It’s best to be patient and wait 8-12 weeks. The first 30 days you may see improvements but everyone is different and you need to stay focused and not abandon your routine simply because you don’t look like a fitness model. Remember the goal is improved health and fitness and that it is a journey.

If you see that after 8 weeks you are not seeing slight improvements it may be time to re-evaluate your workout routine. More importantly are you eating and getting enough sleep each and every day. That is paramount to just about any type of training you do.

Paying astute attention to what’s working and what’s not working will make a huge difference in your progress towards your goal(s).

Step 4: Change Your Approach Until You Achieve Goal(s)

Flexibility is the key in this step. If you are working out and you notice that it’s not working change. I am sure you are familiar with the quote by Einstein on the definition of insanity, if you are not. Einstein defined insanity as; “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

It would be shear madness and insanity to continue working out the same way if you are not getting any results. For that matter, it would also make sense to change and seriously take a look at what you are actually putting into your body in the form of food, if you are not growing and seeing any type of gains.

In addition, and I can’t stress this one enough, sleep sleep sleep. You body recovers when are resting and not when you are working out.

In conclusion, everything in life starts with a decision. The direction and where one goes based on that decision is entirely up to him or her. I can say emphatically, that even the idea of making no decision and not doing anything about improving your health and the quality of your life is also a decision.

Albeit, a very risky and somewhat dangerous decision. I mean, come on, we are talking about your health what better time to be in the best shape your life than now.

Note: Here is an additional audio on Tony Robbins on the Power of Decision Making (Time: 6:16 min)